


The Cheeseburger Crisis

by frostysunflowers



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Humor, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Please don’t take seriously, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark loves cheeseburgers, cos I sure as hell didn’t haha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-29 03:50:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19821934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostysunflowers/pseuds/frostysunflowers
Summary: All Tony wants is a cheeseburger. Is that too much to ask?





	The Cheeseburger Crisis

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hailingstars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hailingstars/gifts).



> Pure ridiculousness to soothe my moody soul <3 Enjoy!
> 
> Based on a convo hailingstars and I were having recently, so this is of course dedicated to her because of her contribution to this madness and for listening to me rant and rave - an angel of a person for sure!

''Oh yeah,'' Tony groans as he steps out into the street, unwrapping the cheeseburger he’s just purchased as he goes, ''oh yeah, come to daddy you beautiful tasty – HEY!''

His face turns a furious shade of red as a seagull swoops down, quick as a flash, and snatches the food clean out of his hand. It gives a taunting squawk as it flies up towards the rooftops, dropping a shred of lettuce on the way.

''YOU BRING THAT BACK HERE!'' Tony snarls, whirling like a madman and gesturing angrily up at the sky. ''THAT’S MY BURGER!''

''My friend, are you alright?'' Thor questions as he and Peter appear beside him, each clutching a milkshake and munching on some fries.

''That asshole bird took my fucking burger!'' Tony screeches, pointing up to where the offending creature peers down at them. ''Just swooped right down and took it!''

''Aw, I’m sorry, Mister Stark,'' Peter says, looking genuinely sad. He holds out the bag of fries. ''Want some of these?''

Tony glowers for a moment. ''Yes,'' he says moodily, grabbing a handful.

No sooner has he lifted them to his mouth does the seagull make a reappearance, shooting past with an impressive speed and snatching the fries in its beak.

''MOTHERFU – '' Tony’s furious cry is outdone by Thor’s boom of outrage.

''Do not fear, brother!'' he moves to stand in front of Tony, shoving his milkshake into Tony’s hand and throwing his arms out to shield him. ''I will protect you from these wretched airborne beasts!''

Tony huffs sulkily and moves to take a sip from the milkshake.

After the third appearance from the seagull, the day out ends with Tony turning the air blue with his colourful threats and Thor having to carry his angry friend home over his shoulder with Peter trailing behind, slurping his milkshake and recording everything surreptitiously on his phone.

Later that night, a video surfaces online. The title reads ‘Tony Stark threatens seagulls *not clickbait’ and the thumbnail is a picture of Tony mid-rant and flashing his middle finger up to the sky.

The video receives over a hundred thousand hits in two hours. Peter, after ecstatically declaring himself viral, takes one look at Tony’s murderous face and vanishes somewhere in the tower. Thor, along with the rest of the household, spends the rest of the evening laughing uproariously at the footage whilst Tony disappears into the lab, vowing to not resurface until he’s fashioned something suitable enough for sweet revenge.

Peter coaxes him out two days later with more cheeseburgers.

Tony guards them well.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
